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The Case For Tinder…A PUA’s Guide

The Case For Tinder…A PUA’s Guide

The Case For Tinder…A Guide For PUA’s

I can already hear the sharp intakes of breath, see the furrowed brows and expect the onslaught of troll comments but before any of that hear me out.

No Craig Cassidy hasn’t hung up his oversized biker boots, leather jacket and aviators for a life of microwave meals, trips to Ikea and an arthritic riddled right thumb.

Far from it.

Daygame/Gutter Game is and will be for the foreseeable future the main way I meet, attract and seduce women. It’s my passion, my adrenaline rush and my job. That’s not going to change anytime soon.

But…let’s get to talking about Tinder.

Ahhh Tinder and online game in general. Loved and loathed in equal divides across the PUA community, some guys dedicating swathes of time to trying to figure out the ‘code’ and other guys writing it off as a complete waste of time. So should you bother?!

Well I’m going to attempt to argue why you should…

First, let’s get the negatives out-of-the-way, of which there are many but in the main they are:

  • You’re viewed as a chode in a sea of chodes, that is until you are chosen. In online/Tinder game, women are the choosers. Their value is massively inflated by the horde of losers sending them “omg u so beautiful” messages on the daily, so actually getting a response from these girls can be troublesome.
  • It’s fucking time-consuming. Ever got frustrated from the time you’re spending doing admin to get your 5 daygame leads from the week to reply and come on a date with you? Well multiply that 10 fold when online/Tinder gaming.
  • Quality is rare. Let’s face it, a high quality girl isn’t likely to be on Tinder. She’s already got a network of orbiter beta-males ready to come crawling whenever she desires.
  • It’s difficult to display your true SMV. Looks makes up a small percentage of your male sexual market value, yet it is almost the sole reason you’ll get a response from Tinder. Sure she might make assumptions based on your images but come on, those of you that have tried Tinder know you spend less than a second to decide whether you’re swiping left or right.
  • Most women do it for attention. Even if you do get a match, most women are actually on Tinder for an ego boost and self-validation. She probably doesn’t have any real desire to meet a guy from Tinder, it hardly fits her Disney romance ideals, even now it’s considered the ‘norm.’
Waiting for a match yesterday...
Waiting for a match yesterday…

So the odds are pretty stacked against you right? Well yeah. And you probably should just not bother and be a daygame purist right? Hmmm, not quite.

See, for all it’s flaws, I’d never consider becoming a purist and only doing one type of game, for you are actually missing out on girls and here’s why.

I’m sure you all know that in daygame, a key mindset we adopt is that for every girl you approach, she could be a ‘yes’, a ‘no’, or a ‘maybe’ girl.

That is, right off the bat the girl will either hate the sight of you, want to suck your dick right then and there or have a varying level of curiosity as to who you are and what you’re about.

Same goes for Tinder…so with the following tips, here’s how you can incorporate this controversial app into your dating life.

  • First things first…find your best photos. What you write in your bio doesn’t really matter. She’s going to check you out or swipe based on your profile pic. Make it a strong one, not one of you gurning in a family holiday photo.
  • If you have a cool Instagram account (like me) link it to your profile, it acts as a DHV without you have to do anything.
  • Don’t spend a lot of time on it. Daygame (or night game if it’s your thing) should be the main way you get quality girls into your life. Use Tinder when you have a spare few minutes, like when you’re taking a shit.
  • When you get a match, employ the same principles as you would with daygame i.e. tease, challenge, role-play…99% of guys on Tinder are clueless chodes that send shit like ‘hey beautiful how are you?” so there’s no excuse for you not to stand out.
  • Show her you’re not a desperate horny chode (even if you are..) There’s a thin line between ‘here’s a guy that I’d actually meet’ and ‘great, he’s another fuck boy.’ You can deal with this by qualifying her. Sure you want to sleep with her but the rest of the guys on Tinder would do so even if she came to their house on Christmas Day and pissed on their Nan.
  • Don’t spend hours (or worse days) texting back and forth on the app. Your immediate goal is to get some contact details and go from ‘that Tinder guy’ to someone she knows. WhatsApp/Facebook are ideal.
  • Again, once she’s a contact in your phone, try to get her out as soon as possible on a date. Once you’re on a date with her you’re a real person. If you don’t you’re likely to be forgotten or worse, put in with the rest of the beta orbiters.
  • Now you’re on a date with her it’s all you buddy, escalate, escalate, escalate…if it all goes tits up then you should have options, if you don’t then you probably didn’t follow point number 3…
She's not joking..
She’s not joking..

I’ve personally had sexcess *ahem* success with it, met some cool girls, been on some good, bad and ‘interesting’ dates all from an app I occasionally use when I’m sat around in my underpants relaxing 😉

So there you have it guys…my case for Tinder!

**Disclaimer**

The above advice was published in good faith and understanding that you, the reader, are of average or above looks, are of reasonable age and have some sort of personality. Should you be old as fuck, have a face like a melted welly or as much personality as a square foot piece of dry wall then Tinder probably isn’t for you…

CassidyPUA #4 Gutter Game SDL Story

CassidyPUA #4 Gutter Game SDL Story

 

Some notes from the video:

How to pick up a barmaid

  • As soon as she approaches me to ask for my order I hold intense sexual eye contact and pattern interrupt by asking how she is.
  • She doesn’t know what a Rioja is as I order my wine so I tell her to give me her hand and I slap the back of it and tease her for not being a good barmaid.
  • After this I roll off as I’ve done enough spiking and can see she’s interested.
  • I ignore her for a bit then when she’s running through another customers order I banter a bit more about her looking like a well known celebrity.
  • We’re about to finish our drinks so I wait for a good opportunity to close so when she passes again I get her attention, tell her I want to invite her out sometime and that she should write her number down on a receipt out of sight of her boss. (this is very important).
  • She agrees and I close.

How to SDL from Gutter Game

  • I spot the girl out of my peripheral vision as she walks past in short denim shorts and low cut top. She’s Latina.
  • I front stop her closer than I would usually during the day, indicating this is sexual not social.
  • She’s a bit skeptical at first as she saw me with my student who’s a big guy and she’s a bit on guard.
  • I run normal daygame model and she hooks after my teasing about where she’s from – El Salvador
  • Once she’s hooked I start physical escalation, long hand hold, hugs, push-aways and decide that it’s on for a SDL.
  • I tell her my student is on his way home and suggest we should grab a quick drink. She agrees.
  • In the bar I’ve progressed to playing with hands and the makeout happens pretty quickly.
  • I decide to extract now but she’s hungry so I agree to go with her to get some food, making sure that I rush it along as fast as I can so as to not burst the seduction bubble.
  • Once she’s finished I suggest we go to my hotel for one more drink. She’s hesitant and her ASD kicks in, telling me she has to go and get her car.
  • I tell her we’ll be quick and then I’ll walk her to her car. She agrees to come up to my room.
  • Once in the room LMR doesn’t materialise and it’s 3 hours of crazy sex in all situations including her leaning out of the high rise window screaming in Spanish as I fuck her from behind and slap her arse.
  • Key to SDL’s is recognising the signals from the girl that it’s “on” and to escalate smoothly but quickly.
The Secret to Better Daygame

The Secret to Better Daygame

Hey guys,

I’m not a huge fan of TED Talks in general but often I’ll come across one that has useful, practical and insightful information that can be applied to improve your success with women.

Now forgive the clickbait title, what I’m going to write about probably isn’t a secret and you’re probably aware of it already on some level but I think it’s important.

Unpacked, the topic is huge, so this is a bit of an overview and something to think about so here goes…

As a daygame coach, it’s my job to improve a guys results with women, whether that’s a complete newbie whereby I give them a tried and tested structure to get them started, or an experienced guy whereby minor tweaks and adjustments need to be made.

Like most coaches out there, whether dating, business, sports etc, we tend to focus on changing individuals behaviours, as changing what you do changes the results you get. I.e. teaching a guy the front stop, or how to hold eye contact, how to tease, how to challenge etc…

Whilst this is vital to improved results, changing behaviour doesn’t guarantee the individual will see improved results over the long term, which is ultimately what we all want. In fact, changing behaviour deals only with the surface level improvements that we can make.

Untitled-1

As you can see by my expertly designed diagram above, results are affected by a lot more than just our behaviours. What drives our behaviours is the way we think and how we feel, which both interact with each other. Emotions drive how we feel and underpinning all of this, is our Physiology.

Physiology – essentially just data streams from all of our systems to our brain

Emotions – the result of the data from all of our systems aka – energy

Feelings – the awareness of the energy e.g. anxiety; we usually become aware of high heart rate, dry mouth, sweaty palms etc.

Thoughts – self explanatory but are affected by how we feel i.e. you think different thoughts when you’re happy to when you’re sad

One of the major factors affecting how well we perform in any given task/situation is our Heart Rate Variability, which directly controls Brain Function.

When you’re under pressure, your heart rate spikes and becomes chaotic, sending signals to the brain to shut off the frontal lobe, which is referred to as a DIY lobotomy. I’m sure you’ve all experienced this at some point when you’ve ran in-front of a girl and all of a sudden you’re unable to get your words out or your mind goes totally blank.

Conversely I’m sure you’ve all experience sets where you feel “in the zone” and everything that comes out of your mouth hits and feels completely natural and at ease. This happens when there’s a coherent signal being sent to your brain, which is the key to high performance.

Lots of advice out there advocates either being ‘psyched up’ to approach or make sure you’re really ‘relaxed’ in set but both are false and are considered the myth of performance, which you can see below;

Untitled-2

It’s entirely possible to be either ‘psyched up’ or ‘relaxed’ in set but to have negative emotional states. Being frustrated or apathetic in set is more likely to lead to a negative response from the girl. Improved performance occurs then when you’re in a positive emotional state.

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” – Albert Einstein

Positive emotional states occur when we’re able to maintain a coherent signal between our heart and our brain, avoiding the chaotic state that tends to happen when we’re under pressure. Thought is an emergent property within our system i.e. what we think and the quality of our thoughts are dictated by biology.

One of the easiest ways to maintain a coherent signal, in which we have conscious control over is developing rhythmic and smooth breathing. Maintaining a fixed ratio of in to out breaths whilst breathing in a uniform manner will help to maintain a level heart rate.

From there you’ll find it easier to become aware of your emotional state and shift your thoughts to a place of positivity, which in turn will affect how you behave in front of the girl.

The secret to better daygame then, is to learn how to control your physiology as this underpins everything you do.

If you found this interesting then check out the whole talk here —-> Click Me

Unplugging From The Matrix: A Cautionary Tale

Unplugging From The Matrix: A Cautionary Tale

At the end of June 2014, a few weeks after my birthday weekend away with my girlfriend, I suddenly found myself single and unemployed.

Sat in my office at work, I tried to decide which piece of news to come to terms with first. In the space of a few hours, I’d literally gone from stable career and long term relationship to a man with some important decisions to make.

Luckily for me I’d already swallowed the red pill long before this event and had been doing daygame for a number of years, so instead of a mental breakdown, I hopped on a flight the next week and joined my best mate in Australia where I’d end up staying for the next two years.

A shit load of awesome stuff happened in that two years, which I’ll be writing about soon but for now I’ll fast forward to the time I arrived back in England after my Oz adventures.

I arrived home in May this year. I honestly had no idea what I was going to do beyond get a job and figure stuff out. I’d planned to go away to New Zealand in the New Year again with my best mate, so figured I’d just get a job until then as a means to an end.

I’d been coaching in Sydney here and there but becoming a daygame coach full-time had never really crossed my mind until Tom got in touch to ask if I’d like to help film the Beginner Daygame Documentary and then go on a trip to Canada where I’d be helping him coach. Both of those events were a success and I ended up coaching for Tom more and more in the UK as well as teaching my own residentials in Europe and later this year West Coast America.

Almost without planning it, I found myself free from the corporate world that I was dreading going back to and doing something that I loved to do.

“Too much freedom can lead to the soul’s decay – Prince”

Sounds great huh…It is, but as I’ve come to realise, there’s something that’s happened to me slowly over the course of the past few months and that’s that I’ve become fucking lazy! 

Back when I was working a 9-5, I’d go to work for 8 hours a day, after work I’d hit the gym, after the gym I’d maybe go out and do some daygame, go on dates, work on my photography. Point being, I was very efficient with my time because I had to be.

It sounds obvious when I think about it, but it’s crept up on me very slowly, without me noticing, until today I realised that I hadn’t been to the gym in ages, I haven’t put out much in terms of content both on my blog and YouTube channel, I haven’t been working on my hobbies anywhere near the same intensity as I did when I was ‘plugged in’ and I’ve also been slacking with my own daygame, essentially I’ve just been passing the time between coaching jobs and trips away.

Although I’ve been doing daygame for a long time, this lifestyle is new to me and I’m encountering new challenges that my former self wouldn’t have been exposed to.

Unplugging from the matrix doesn’t mean do whatever you want, when you want. Routine, discipline and hard work underpin whether or not this lifestyle can be sustainable and I certainly have to address these areas in my life going forward.

Daygame Euro Jaunts – Expectation vs Reality

Daygame Euro Jaunts – Expectation vs Reality

Hey guys,

With all the recent handbags flying around the ‘community’ in light of the Nick Krauser vs Deepak Wayne debacle, I thought I’d post my experience of what you can expect on a Daygame Euro Jaunt.

Last week I spent seven days in Central Europe to a) Get out of the UK, b) Film some infields and c) Do a Euro Jaunt now that I’m an experienced daygamer (my last Euro Jaunt ended in a mental breakdown many years ago, I’ll do a video on this another time).

Preface

Before I get into it, I want to add that the second day I was there I got ill, which severely affected my vibe and motivation to daygame. I plan on doing a follow up post when I’m back in the same location in a few weeks but I digress…My goal was to document a realistic experience for someone wanting to go on a Euro Jaunt and to prove to guys that Deepak Wayne’s 25 lays in 50 days claim is utter shit.

I planned on hitting it hard but only ended up doing two, 2-3 hour number farms and then the odd sniper approach when I managed to drag myself out of the flat.

I approached quality girls (some you can see here) and the below results are all from daygame sets, no nightclub or bar girls (or hookers like Deepak…).

Expectation

The expectation of many guys wanting to get into, or are new to daygame is that once you have the skill set down, you can pack your bags and head off on a jolly to pussy paradise. Guys all around the world think that every country but their own is a safe haven for players and somewhere that the rules of the sexual market place don’t apply.

They expect to roll into the city, approach the hordes of 9’s & 10’s roaming around, cramming their phonebooks full of new leads, then spend the rest of their time in a state of post-coital glow. The reality gentleman is much, much different…

Reality

Despite being ill and having a shit vibe, I stuck to my parameters of not spam approaching and only going for quality and in my two number farms and the odd approach here and there, I achieved the following:

Approaches: 40-50 (approx)

Numbers: 20

Facebooks: 4

Instant Dates: 1

Dates: 4

Closes: 0 (closest I got was make out in the flat before LMR)

Conclusion

First thing you’ll notice is that in the five days I gamed, I didn’t manage to get laid. Shock! I’m a daygame coach so surely I should have got laid every night right?! And if not I’m a fraud yes?!…At first, I was pretty annoyed at the fact I didn’t get laid. In the five day residential I taught in Riga not long ago, I got laid twice with quality girls and now I couldn’t repeat the results.

The reality is that if you’re doing a Euro Jaunt, a short trip e.g. five days is like playing the lottery. Even for experienced guys, the lack of time in the location diminishes the impact of skill and increases the reliance on luck.

Out of the leads that came out, I managed to get one back to the flat (a promo girl), the others (an international model, an 18yr old virgin and a smoking hot career woman) needed more time.

Trying to rush the seduction inevitably leads to massive LMR from the maybe girls. The one yes girl I had (the instant date) was just unlucky timing as her dad was about to pick her up and then she met up with her boyfriend the day after.

The other leads that are (still) replying, I literally ran out of time and hope to close when I’m back. To get laid on a short Euro Jaunt you need either a strong yes girl who you SDL or bang on the first date or some solid game plus a bit of luck.

The majority of the quality girls seemed like they’d take at least two dates before they’d bang, with some of the girls indicating over text through shit tests that I was giving off a strong player vibe where I was conscious of my time limit.

It certainly isn’t as easy as going out everyday finding yes girls and dragging them back to your place, the grind is still real, you still have to overcome all of the usual hurdles and do all of this before your flight home.

So getting laid from daygame in a foreign country when you’re there for a limited amount of time; Impossible, no. Easy, no. Possible, yes, with good vibe, tight game and a bit of luck.

If possible stay in a city for at least a couple of weeks, the longer you’re there the less you’ll rely on luck and the higher the probability you’ll convert some of your leads.

The positive to all of this is that the quality is definitely worth the effort, especially if like me you’re from a small city in the UK 😉

**NB – I’m going to repeat the exercise in a few weeks and see how my results fare with better vibe**

 

 

 

 

 

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