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The Importance of “Being Normal”

The Importance of “Being Normal”

I’m probably preaching to the choir here (I hope..) with this post, but it’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately…

You ever met a guy and within a few minutes of talking to him you get the feeling that something isn’t quite right there? Kinda like he’s the type of guy that spends his weekends stuffing road kill and listening to Tiny Tim on repeat?!

I certainly get messages from these kind of guys all the time and it got me thinking about writing this post; the importance of being a normal guy if you want to become better with women! [1]

It’s no coincidence that these kind of guys end up finding the pickup community, hoping that learning a few openers, spikes and qualifiers will negate the fact that they are a fucking weirdo and that the girl won’t notice. Unfortunately for them, women are highly perceptive creatures and see through bullshit straight away, often leaving the guy angry and frustrated that “this pickup stuff doesn’t work!”

And even if the guy somehow manages to sleep with a girl, once she does realise who he really is beneath the mask, her interest will evaporate faster than a fart in a fan factory.

You see, learning pickup, whatever style you go for, is just the acquisition of new social skills that should complement an already solid foundation i.e. you should already be a well-rounded individual or at the very least be aware of the areas of your life that need addressing and be actively working on them.

“Excuse me, I know this is random but you look very French..”

Learning pickup alone without addressing the other areas of your life reminds me of the saying “you can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.” Sure you might have perfected ten minutes of material that gets you on a date with a girl, but once she see’s past the glitter, it’s going to go downhill pretty quickly.

Part of the reason I had a lot of early successes when I started my daygame journey is due to the fact I was already a pretty normal guy. Chatting to Krauser recently, he highlighted that it seemed as though I was never “pussy repellant.”

For most normal guys that get into pickup, they end up coming to the realisation that pickup is just one facet of a much bigger package and so work on other areas of their life in tandem with learning pickup skills. You’ve probably all heard the phrase “game is a trojan horse.”

The problem for the guys I’m on about is often they’re completely oblivious to the fact that they have some gaping holes in their foundations and the fact that in the pickup community it’s more marketable to promote short-term quick fixes e.g. lines/routines than to tell a guy he has some serious long-term work to do on himself.

So for guys who are struggling to improve their success with women despite learning some game, here are some signs you’re probably a bit of a weirdo:

  • You struggle to maintain friendships/relationships outside of the pickup community.
  • You have no hobbies and interests outside of the pickup community.
  • You have no goals or a mission outside of the pickup community.
  • You spend a lot of time bitching and arguing online.
  • You believe you are perfect and can’t take advice.
  • You constantly blame others for your failures and can’t accept responsibility.
  • This post triggers you 😉

And if any of the above does apply to you, then really consider the message of this post and sort it out!

1. By normal I don’t mean you have to be the typical blue collar, 9-5 type guy or be like everybody else, but there are some fundamentals you do need to have. See above.



Being A Pickup Coach: An Update

Being A Pickup Coach: An Update

Hey guys,

It’s been a while since I’ve put out any content across my channels, aside from my Instagram account on which I’m always posting behind the scenes content from my coaching sessions. Many of you have messaged me to ask why this is, “have I quit the game?”, “am I still teaching?” and “are you still alive?” have been some of the most common questions in my inbox.

In this post I’ll aim to tell you what’s been going on…

Those of you that follow me will know the last real content I put out was from the epic World Tour I embarked on with Mr Torero. During that month of July, I spent a month on the road teaching sold out bootcamps across the globe, helped film a documentary, put out my own content and tried to explore each city. By the end of that trip I was exhausted and broken from all the late nights, early starts, copious amounts of beer and near constant jet-lag!

I needed a break.

So I decided to take a bit of time away from the scene. I spent much of August just chilling and pursuing my other hobbies. In September I had a family bereavement and October I spent a small amount of time in hospital, but it was during this period of downtime that I had a lot of time to think about things, mainly how my life had changed since coming back from Australia 18 months ago and how that’s affected me as a person.

For the most part, the last 18 months of my life has been an incredible adventure. I’ve been extremely lucky to have been able to travel the world, I’ve dated and had awesome experiences with beautiful women from all walks of life, I’ve helped countless guys change not only their dating lives but their lives in general, I’ve continued to develop a skillset that will serve me in both my personal and professional life for years to come and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

But…being a full-time pickup/dating coach is something not many people will experience in their lifetime and so whilst  guys often say to me “man you’ve got the best job in the world” they would find it incredibly hard to believe me when I say it’s ‘not all gravy.’

“So what’s the issue?!”

When I first got into “the community” or “manosphere” as it’s often referred to, it was purely because I was unhappy with my dating life, I felt helpless and wanted to improve myself and take control of that area of my life. Fast forward six years and I feel like I’ve done that, I’ve got the tools to be able to meet, attract and date the women I want in my life and no longer feel afraid to be alone as I did in my early twenties. I understand the rules of the sexual marketplace and no longer go into situations with my eyes closed ‘hoping for the best.’ 

The first minor issue I have is the fact that these days I really can’t stand the “manosphere,” which by the very nature of what I do, I’m a part of. When I started out, the community was largely just an online gathering of guys who traded tips and advice on getting better with girls. Yes you still had trolls and keyboard jockeys who’d argue over ridiculous things but these days it’s mutated into a stream of negativity over things like Politics & Feminism, things I really don’t give a fuck about. Guys who used to support and help each other now berate, belittle and put it each other down to support their claims of being “the best pickup artist.”

By and large I ignore most of the above, including the haters, trolls and general weirdos that plague my various inboxes on a daily basis and actually there are a number of genuinely cool guys that I’ve either met or heard about who give value through the manosphere and that’s great! This is the first reason you’ve been seeing less of me online, purely because I spend less time in the manoshpere.

The second main reason I’ve taken a step back from the public eye is a more of a personal reason.

As I mentioned earlier, when I started out on this journey it was a purely selfish endeavour designed to improve an area of my life that needed vast improvement. But now it’s an even larger part of my life given the fact it’s my full-time job. Out of all the positive changes I’ve seen in myself over the years there’s one thing that I’ve started to notice which began to worry me a little and that is the fact I was doing a lot of things out of ego and not because I truly wanted to. 

I started getting notches not because I liked the girl but because in the back of my mind I knew I had an audience that wanted to hear about it. I started doing crazier sets, not because it was entirely fun for me but because I knew my competition was doing it. I even started to feel guilty for liking a girl for more than just sex for fear of being labelled a ‘beta’ or some other meaningless badge by some random guy online I’ve never even met or give a shit about.

Those things probably helped my game and so I’m not saying I regret any of it, of course not, but slowly the magic of daygame and why I started doing it in the first place began to die and I started to lose the enjoyment of it. I felt myself becoming a bit weird and unbalanced. I wasn’t truly happy.

So I took some time out to figure things out and feel like I’m in a much better place now and moving in the right direction.

Firstly I’ve reconnected with why I started this in the first place. I’m less interested in satisfying the ‘notch count hyena’ and more interested in going for what I really want. This means operating on a sniper approach basis, that ensures I expend less mental and physical energy whilst still getting results. I’ve noticed this has improved my overall game and enjoyment of it.

I’ve been putting a lot more time and effort into my other passions. Being a pickup coach isn’t a long term goal and so I’ve been investing in my photography with a view to eventually transition into that full time, whenever that may be. This has helped me become more balanced and gives me something to work on during quiet periods.

I’m still coaching and I continue to enjoy it. I just got back from an awesome residential in Prague with a guy with zero experience and hearing his updates since the resi inspires me to continue helping guys that need help. I’ve shifted my focus away from all the bullshit and negativity in the manosphere and invest more effort into the guys that are serious about improving themselves.

And overall I’m spending less time online and more time in the real world, meaning less time reading weird posts/comments by weird guys and more time connecting with real people including my friends and family, whom I saw less and less of the more time I traveled and constantly chased new notches.

And so that’s where I’m currently at.

The plan going forward is to continue developing and growing myself personally, whilst continuing to coach guys around the world and to figure out a plan to put out regular content that gives value to my audience.

Lastly, cheers to everyone that’s shown me love across my various social media platforms, I appreciate the support and I’ll see you on a video very soon!


The Issue With Pickup In Small Towns

The Issue With Pickup In Small Towns

Imagine a scene from one of your favourite post-apocalyptic movies.

A group of men, starving and famished from going days without eating, stumble upon a can of out-of-date food in a building they find refuge in. The leader of the group moves quickly to take control of the food, deciding how much each person can eat and when they can eat it.

The scarcity of food and the length of time each man has had to wait before finding some causes tempers to fray and fights break out as each man tries his best to take as much food as he can. Eventually the alpha of the group defeats the others and takes the food for himself leaving the others to starve and live off scraps.

The scene ends with the alpha guarding the tin of food whilst the others look helplessly on…

Everytime I return home to the town I’m from, I see this scene play out on a weekly basis in the local pubs and clubs, except instead of food guys are fighting over (though sometimes in the kebab shop at 3am it is), it’s girls.

Guys often ask about whether game works in small towns as well as in big cities. In short, yes it does, game is game. There are a number of differences for small town game but here’s where I see the main issue arise.

In small towns and cities, there are less girls and even less attractive ones i.e. they are a scarce resource. This scarcity leads to increased competition for these girls.

In an economic climate, scarcity leads to an increase in value. In the sexual market place, in small towns and cities, a girls value is often inflated above and beyond the market norm, for example; a girl viewed as a ‘6’ in a big city is often viewed as an ‘8’ in a small town due to the fact she’s a scarce resource.

This value inflation causes a lose-lose situation in most cases.

Low value guys lose as normal (high value girls don’t sleep with low value guys).

High value guys win as normal (high value guys sleep with high value girls).

Medium value guys lose (think a guy 6) as the average girls value has been inflated so much so that they can no longer get them.

Average girls lose too due to the fact that a) the high value guys are sleeping with the high value girls and  b) they aren’t sleeping with the guys they should be sleeping with due to their inflated perception of their own value.

Everytime I come back home and catch up with my friends in the local pub I see the above.

The hottest girls in the town are always in groups with the local bad boys and high value guys. The low value guys are sat in the corner getting pissed not interested in girls altogether and the guys that are approaching girls are generally getting shot down by girls two points lower than them.

The solution then is simple.

  1. Learn tight game or;
  2. Move to a bigger city where the playing field is a bit more equal
  3. Do both!

If you for whatever reason you can’t move then learn tight game and don’t do what the other guys are doing an paw over girls who you know deep down you wouldn’t bat an eye-lid at if she was plonked in the middle of Oxford Street in London. Become a high value guy and get the high value girls. 


Age. Does it Matter?!

Age. Does it Matter?!

Good morning guys,

I’ve just woken up back in my childhood home, to be greeted by my mother singing murdering Happy Birthday and my phone beeping with social media notifications.

Yep, it’s my birthday and I just turned 31.

I thought it would be a poignant day to touch on the whole ‘does age matter’ in pickup debate, especially as back in my late teens/early twenties, I genuinely thought that if I hadn’t found “the one” and got married and had kids by the time I was thirty, then I’d be fucked. Destined to spend eternity alone, masturbating non-stop to virtual reality porn.

Oh how I was wrong.

The last twelve months I’ve spent the majority of my time travelling the world, teaching daygame and having a great deal of fun whilst doing so.

So “Age, does it matter?!”

The short answer for men is that, no it doesn’t really matter. I know seducers far older than I who are still crushing it in game and in life (think Tom & Nick, the two main guys who helped shaped my beliefs and game early on). Also anyone who’s followed Rollo Tomassi’s work will know that younger women are generally attracted to older guys.

However that’s not to say that you are exempt from putting in continuous work and effort as you age. For a more in-depth look at where age fits in to your sexual market value, check out this post.

Younger guys should focus on building their value. The main issue for younger guys is that women are attracted to power & charisma, something younger guys tend to lack due to not yet having the kind of life experiences that build these traits.

During your late teens and early twenties, you literally have licence to do whatever the fuck you want and not really have any major repercussions. Go crazy, experiment with all styles of game, travel as much as you can, experience as many new things as you can and start to form an idea of the man you want to become.

This will serve you well later on in life, and naturally you’ll become a more attractive man. Obviously don’t neglect learning game, but really when you’re that young you can get laid without it. I did and I was a chode back then.

Older guys should focus on demonstrating their value. The main issue I see in older guys is despite having built value (often massive value), they literally have no idea how to display it or if they do it’s usually in a miss-calibrated way that attracts the wrong type of women (think gold diggers).

Learning game is critical as an older guy to avoid falling into the typical traps of online dating, becoming a sugar daddy or worse a provider for a post wall woman.

Also staying disciplined with your health and nutrition becomes more important the older you get. Without your health it’s bloody hard to do anything, let alone pickup chicks! Hitting the gym, eating well and working on your fashion can also knock years off your perceived age, I often get told I look early to mid twenties, which is great!

And remember, “you’re only as old as the person you feel” 😉


Game Advice From An Adventurer

Game Advice From An Adventurer

I’m currently sat in Bristol Airport about to catch a flight to Barcelona to kick off my Euro Jaunt season and to teach a residential. I thought I’d write a quick post based on one of my favourite movies of all time.

‘Into the Wild,’ is the story of Christopher McCandles, an adventurer, maverick and definitely a black sheep. The film chronicles the story of his life, from being a model student to rebelling against the system and ultimately his demise.

The Sean Penn adaptation is taken from the book written by Jon Krakauer and in the book there are a number of passages, quotes that are not only inspiring, but directly relate to how you can become a better seducer.

I’ll start with one of my favourite passages from the book;

“make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

We all know that to become a good seducer, breaking free of your blue pill conditioning is an absolute must. When you jump into the “helter-skelter” craziness that is daygame and pickup, you initially feel awkward and strange for doing it but if you stick at it long enough you’ll see that without it you’d never live the life you truly want to.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

With anything in life, it all starts with and ends with you. Yes, I and other coaches in this industry can help you get to where you want to be but if YOU don’t truly want it then there’s nothing anybody else can do to help you.

“I read somewhere… how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong… to measure yourself at least once.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

So many people in this world go through life never truly knowing their own potential. Daygaming forces you to measure yourself constantly, every-time you go out and stand in-front of a new girl. This real world feedback is crucial if you want to develop yourself as a man and as a seducer.

“That’s what was great about him. He tried. Not many do.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

The amount of times I hear guys saying, “I wish I had the guts to do what you do” is staggering. Nowadays everyone is searching for a magic pill, we’re constantly sold the idea of short-cuts to get to your goals but in reality the secret is you just have to try, i.e. TAKE ACTION!

“I now walk into the wild.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

The very essence of cold approach is embracing the unknown and doing it anyway. Christopher McCandles feared the unknown, like we do when we feel ‘approach anxiety’ but he also embraced the unknown with boundless excitement and passion and that’s what fuelled him to do the crazy things he did.

There are hundreds more nuggets of gold contained within that book, I’d recommend it to anyone looking for a bit of inspiration in their lives. The movie is brilliant and the soundtrack by Eddie Vedder is also stunning!

“I now fly to Barcelona”
– Craig Cassidy, Bristol Airport 😉

A Victim of Hypergamy (A Case Study)

A Victim of Hypergamy (A Case Study)

“I realise now that she’s what I want. I want to move in with her and have kids with her. I’m done with this lifestyle and I’m scared that I’ve really fucked it up. If I can’t get her back then I’m going to have to leave this town, I can’t see her around, it will kill me.”

I sat in silence, blank expression on my face, as I listened to my mate fill me in on the latest developments in his now finished relationship. I was back in Gloucestershire and had joined a couple of old friends for a few pints at a local pub when I’d asked “how are things with you and Amy?”

Steve is my age (30), has his own flat, a steady job and is in great shape from the gym. Amy is a year younger, a nurse, not in great shape and a few years ago almost had a drunken foursome with me and my best mate, her friend being the one to pull out at the last-minute.

Though most of my friends from home have some idea of the lifestyle I lead and what I do for work, I never make a point of ramming theory down their throats or talking about it too much when I am back. I just sat, listened and nodded whilst Steve continued to open up about the nature of their breakup.

“I was sat on the couch at her mums house, them either side of me as they gave me the ultimatum.”

“Ultimatum?” I asked.

“Yeah we’ve been together a while now and they said that if I don’t move out of my flat and get a house with Amy and give her kids then she’s going to leave me. I felt under pressure and said I didn’t want that and left. That’s when we broke up.”

“How long ago was that?” I asked.

“About ten weeks now, but I can’t stop thinking that I’ve made a terrible mistake. I realise now that she’s what I want. I want to move in with her and have kids with her. I’m done with this lifestyle and I’m scared that I’ve really fucked it up. If I can’t get her back then I’m going to have to leave this town, I can’t see her around, it will kill me.”

Rollo’s ‘Cardinal Rule of Relationships’ immediately sprang into mind.

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

“Mate you realise you only feel like this because you lack options and live in a tiny town where you see her everyday.” I refrained from going into a tirade of how he needs to get a grip, move on and realise he just won the lottery by escaping that scenario.

“No mate, you’re different. I’m not like you, I’m not interested in fucking loads of girls and partying anymore, I want her back. I went round her house today but she wasn’t in so I told her neighbour to tell her that I called by and that I want to speak to her.” He continued.

“Just be careful.” I added before changing the subject.

We didn’t speak about it again for the rest of the afternoon and I’d kind of forgotten about it until today when I saw something pop up on my Facebook feed. It was one of those ‘x has been tagged in’ type of posts and not to my surprise it was Amy who is now in a relationship with John.

But wait, as I looked a little closer, I saw that the date she was tagged in this event was not today’s date but actually from early March, meaning it was a little over three weeks after she broke up with Steve that she had entered into this new relationship with John.

I felt bad for Steve. He’d previously scoffed at the idea that women always have ‘orbiters’ (guys they’re keeping on the back burner) and now he’d fallen victim to the hypergamous nature of women. It’s a lesson he’ll have to learn the hard way but what about guys reading this who may be in a similar situation or thinking about entering into a relationship?

Lets look at the mistakes Steve made to get to this point using Heartiste’s brilliant ‘Sixteen Commandments of Poon.’

First mistake.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic clichés of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

Steve put himself in a position where Amy became his priority, hence his needy behaviour and devastation after she left. The fact Steve lives in a small town where there is a real lack of options and things to do means that generally relationships become the priority in people’s lives here.

Second mistake.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

Although Steve told me he saw a 41-year-old for a bit after the breakup, he never had abundance, which lead to his needy behaviour and allowed Amy to play her trump card (leaving) to get what she wanted i.e. marriage and kids. She’s likely to use the same tactics and behaviour (often not consciously) in her new relationship with John. Now Steve is alone in his flat in a town with a lack of opportunity for new leads, he’s neediness grows along with the belief that Amy is the solution. Steve should really read ‘Plate Theory’ by Rollo Tomassi.

Third mistake.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

Listening to Steve talk, it’s clear he doesn’t have a grip on his state control. During the ultimatum, Steve got reactive prompting Amy to follow through on her threat to leave. Although she may have left anyway as she moves towards somebody that will give her kids, had Steve been able to maintain the frame, the situation may have ended differently. Now his state has been disrupted, he believes that he’s made a mistake and that he now wants marriage and kids, when in reality his gut instinct was probably right and he isn’t ready for that yet.

Last mistake.

XVI.  Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

It’s clear Steve was afraid to lose her and now that he has, his behaviour is erratic and is stemming from a place of neediness and loneliness through lack of options. Trying to get her back is the ultimate act of neediness. Steve needs to move on with his life and fast.

Steve’s case study serves as an example of where you can end up if you don’t take game & red pill advice seriously.  This isn’t a post to hate on the nature of women, I actually don’t think Amy has done anything wrong, she’s only following her biological imperative.

Steve on the other hand has a lot to learn if he’s to avoid ending up in a similar situation in the future.

How To Have Sex In Public

How To Have Sex In Public

For the last few months, in-between daygame coaching in London, I’ve been living back in the arse end of nowhere while I plan my next Euro Jaunts and an upcoming World Tour.

The issue with this (outside of the lack of daygame opportunities) is the fact that lay logistics are pretty shitty.

Instead of relentlessly beating myself off into a tissue whilst spending way too much time on pornhub, I’ve been further exploring the art of  getting laid in public places.

By public places, I’m talking about anywhere outside of the comfort of your place, whether that’s in a car, in a park, down an alleyway or like my Saturday afternoon, a disabled toilet in a swanky pub…

Now this isn’t a new phenomenon and certainly not the first time I’ve done this but I wanted a write a bit of a “how to” for guys that may not have tried or thought it was possible to get a girl you barely know to accompany you into a toilet, whilst the sun is still shining outside and proceed to fuck her brains out whilst the sound of hand dryers go off next door.

Before I get into the “how to” part of the post, I want to touch on the “why” you should want to at least try having sex in public;

  1. Firstly it’s good experience. Experience breeds competence and competence breeds confidence. Quite simply, the more you have sex in crazy places, the more confident you’ll feel about doing it in future situations where a bounce back to your place may not be possible. What you feel, she feels, so if you’re confident in what you’re doing, she’s more likely to oblige.
  2. It’s exciting and risky. The combination of the two causes huge spikes in her emotions and is likely to make her come back for more. After all, when she’s daydreaming at work, she’s more likely to be thinking about the guy that dragged her into a disabled toilet than the guy who gave her three minutes of boring missionary sex.
  3. It’s paramount for developing a strong sexual vibe. Since we know that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, developing a strong sexual presence through a wide berth of sexual experiences will help your interactions with women in the future.

Not that I really needed to sell you on the idea of expanding your sexual horizons, it’s time for the “how” part of the post. Banging in public isn’t actually that hard (that’s what she said..) but there are a few things you need to take into consideration.

  1. She needs to trust you. There needs to be a certain degree of comfort built before you pull a girl into a situation that is both risky in terms of being caught and more importantly where she’s going to be vulnerable. She doesn’t need to have known you for months, it’s certainly possible to do a same day lay in public but she has to trust you. Once you know she’s attracted to you, let her know that you’re not a threat.
  2. You have to lead. Just like any escalation attempt, it’s your job to lead and escalate. Not only do you need to lead and escalate, you must do so smoothly. Any hesitation, nervousness or uncertainty she will feel amplified and will likely not go ahead with it.
  3. Accept there is a risk and ‘call out the elephant in the room.’ She doesn’t want to be thinking logically about how you two could get caught so you need to allay these fears before they arise by saying something along the lines of “this is crazy, I can’t believe we’re doing this.”
  4. Have Fun! Most importantly make it a fun experience for her as well as you. You want to make it a positive experience for her to reduce the chance of “buyers remorse.”
  5. Oh and not every girl will be up for it and thats okay. Drilling yourself to at least try for it will make you more comfortable when the situation arises again in the future.

So there you go, there’s really not much to it.

Have fun!


If you still need some reassurance that women are actually into this stuff just grab yourself a copy of “50 Shades of Grey” or “My Secret Garden” by Nancy Friday, better still follow me on Twitter @cassidypua and add me on Instagram @craigcassidy1


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